Snakes in my muthafuckin’ livin’ room

Since early this evening, an insanely annoying bug (yes, one that can be classified biologically!) has been making outrageous amounts of noise close to the exterior wall of my office. At about 3:30 this morning, after having tried to fall asleep for the better part of an hour, I came to the conclusion that the noise beast must be terminated lest I bang my head through the wall.

I went outside, armed with a flashlight, spatula, and grill tongs to hunt the thing down. This is where it became interesting. It knew I was trying to hunt it. As soon as I stepped outside, the noise stopped. I stood still. It started again. I moved. It stopped. “Shit!” It was playing games with me, and I just wanted to get some sleep. For about 15 minutes, we played the game. I finally won! He was on the ground in the corner of the building when my tongs cut it in pieces. “Let’s hear you say something now!”

I happily walked back into the apartment and nearly stepped on a snake. A small, cuddly, baby what-looked-to-be-a-copperhead snake. Yep. Just resting about 10 feet from the front door. “Excellent!” Luckily, and I say that with much hesitation, it was a baby. Only about 8-10 inches long. I’ve seen many copperheads and other snakes in the woods around central NC as long as 3-4 feet – thick and juicy with hard-angled heads. This was a baby. As I still had the tongs in my hand, I picked the thing up just below its head and walked back outside and released it in the woods. I made sure to shut the front door behind me that time.

Now all I fear is that it followed something much larger into my apartment and I’ll have a nice surprise tomorrow. Hopefully this isn’t the case. I also wish I had remembered to take a photo. I’m really bad at photographing strange spontaneous moments.

5 Replies to “Snakes in my muthafuckin’ livin’ room”

  1. Turns out, baby poisonous snakes are more dangerous than adults. I had a friend that was bitten by a baby rattlesnake in Junior college. We found out that the baby snakes have little or no control over their “poison sacs”, so while an adult will tag you with a reasonable amount of venom, the baby snakes have no choice but to completely unload their (proportionally large) venom sacs.

    Just a tip.

    — Travis

  2. Eeikk!! I was able to get behind it from a reasonably safe distance to get it right below its head, so I wasn’t too worried. It actually didn’t move much at all. Thanks for the tip though! Perhaps if it wasn’t so late and I wasn’t so tired, I would have tried something smarter :)

    Doing a little searching this morning, I can say it was certainly a baby copperhead. I’m pretty familiar with the things anyway, but wasn’t too sure until I read about the lemon-yellow tail.

  3. Perhaps the snake was looking for a loud yet tasty bug treat OR just maybe the bug was sounding a warning about the snake. Either way I’m very glad you escaped unscathed. Wonder how well you ended up sleeping thinking about what may have crawled into your apartment.

  4. Where there’s a baby snake, theres 100 other baby snakes… and a big fat mother snake (mutha fuckin snakes). Sorry to freak you out, but they’re probably behind your walls and in your ducts.

    I had locusts inside my cottage last week. I was up there alone for a holiday, and all week they were chirping. And there were a couple peeping frogs in my basement. I know how annoying that must have been for you,

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