Snakes in my muthafuckin’ livin’ room

Since early this evening, an insanely annoying bug (yes, one that can be classified biologically!) has been making outrageous amounts of noise close to the exterior wall of my office. At about 3:30 this morning, after having tried to fall asleep for the better part of an hour, I came to the conclusion that the noise beast must be terminated lest I bang my head through the wall.

I went outside, armed with a flashlight, spatula, and grill tongs to hunt the thing down. This is where it became interesting. It knew I was trying to hunt it. As soon as I stepped outside, the noise stopped. I stood still. It started again. I moved. It stopped. “Shit!” It was playing games with me, and I just wanted to get some sleep. For about 15 minutes, we played the game. I finally won! He was on the ground in the corner of the building when my tongs cut it in pieces. “Let’s hear you say something now!”

I happily walked back into the apartment and nearly stepped on a snake. A small, cuddly, baby what-looked-to-be-a-copperhead snake. Yep. Just resting about 10 feet from the front door. “Excellent!” Luckily, and I say that with much hesitation, it was a baby. Only about 8-10 inches long. I’ve seen many copperheads and other snakes in the woods around central NC as long as 3-4 feet – thick and juicy with hard-angled heads. This was a baby. As I still had the tongs in my hand, I picked the thing up just below its head and walked back outside and released it in the woods. I made sure to shut the front door behind me that time.

Now all I fear is that it followed something much larger into my apartment and I’ll have a nice surprise tomorrow. Hopefully this isn’t the case. I also wish I had remembered to take a photo. I’m really bad at photographing strange spontaneous moments.